Week 5, Part III

Part of my purpose is to explore spiritual integrity as the cornerstone for cultivating integrity on all levels. Experiences with Gate 26 will be spiritual in nature. Since my wiring requires that I gain lessons for 26 from relationships with others who have Gate 44 activated, there’s likely to be a spiritual connection in the relationship; the relationship itself may be an aspect of what I model for others. 

Part of my purpose is to experience mainstream ideas about integrity and alignment in order to learn about and challenge what doesn’t work. When I model the life-affirming nature of integrity cultivated through authenticity, lovability, and self-worth, I’ll simultaneously expose the destructive nature of cultural attempts to impose rules of false integrity through shaming. I’ll learn from experience that rather than promoting “good” behavior, living in a prison of guilt and shame only provokes inauthentic, self-limiting choices, ultimately causing deterioration of spiritual integrity that culminates in the destruction of everything built inauthentically. Once I’ve gained this wisdom, I’ll exemplify the spiritual integrity (i.e., authentic choices) that’s necessary in order to cultivate any other type of integrity, revealing the only genuine foundation for building anything dependable.

Due to the nature of this theme’s influence on my Gate and Profile, I’ll likely spend most of my life believing that integrity is my greatest weakness as I explore all the methods of developing integrity through externally-imposed means. By the time I reach my 3rd stage and am ready to model spiritual integrity for others, all of my failures earlier in life will have served to prove what doesn’t work. The more failures of integrity I’ve experienced, the more effective I’ll be as a role model for others.

My learning modality for this is Line 2, the Hermit, which requires time alone to integrate learning. This could indicate that I’ll need to withdraw from my primary “teaching” relationship(s) at times. I’ll likely integrate what I’ve learned during the second stage of my Line 6, both from my own experiences and from observing others. I’ll likely emerge with the sense I’ve internalized of what true (spiritual) integrity looks like, as well as how to preserve what’s valuable from the past, which will be part of what I model for others when I emerge for my 3rd stage.

A bit of insight from the I Ching (linked to Gate name above) that might give a clue about navigating the change from novice expression to wisdom – I’ll know if/when it becomes useful:

Line 2 – It is wise to learn the knack of effortless effort that keeps moving with rather than against the current. It might not appear so valiant and brave, but it will conserve energy that you are going to need later. The circumstances require absolute honesty with yourself about your limitations. Don’t try to compensate by putting on airs to appear other than who you are.

Reciprocity (26.1, less apparent) – This aspect introduces the need for mutual respect in my relationships, both romantic and business. In novice expression, I may accept bargains against my better interests, perhaps motivated by unconscious needs for security or status. Once I’ve accepted the bargain, I’ll get stuck because of a misplaced loyalty that is often not reciprocated; this will be a way I’m prone to compromise my integrity in Gate 26. As an aspect of committed partnership, it will strongly influence any 26-44 relationships in my life. It’s also the area in my natural curiosity will lead me to explore in search of a deeper truth. 

The wisdom gained through this influence is that reciprocity is required to have integrity in a partnership. If I find that I feel tempted to act without integrity toward a partnership, the first thing I need to evaluate is where reciprocity might be lacking on either or both sides. If I confront it directly, I can avoid choices that undermine my sense of self-worth. If my partner isn’t willing to respect my needs and work with me toward healthy reciprocity – or if I’m not willing to do so for my partner – then the partnership will remain lacking in integrity and will continue undermining my sense of self-worth. At that point, the choice of highest integrity is to dissolve the partnership, freeing both people to seek a healthier partnership.

I Ching guidance for this influence, Line 1 – By being alert to childish superhero fantasies when they start to arise, it’s possible to shift gears before the drama begins. Once you’ve set the stage for the first act, it’s harder to rewrite the script.

Gate 26 is part of the Channel of Alignment (aka, Surrender), one of the most complex Channels found in circuitry. Since I don’t have the other Gate for this channel (44 – the Gate of Truth) activated in my circuitry, I’ll be electromagnetically drawn toward people who do, and I’ll live out the theme of Gate 26 in those relationships. Experiences in this Channel are likely to be particularly impactful for me. People who have a hanging Gate 44 will be equally drawn to me and the relationship will be a learning experience for this Channel for both of us and the impact will be just as significant for them as it is for me. (If I’m in relationship with someone who has the full Channel defined, I’ll be just as drawn toward them but that electromagnetic factor won’t be reciprocated, and it will be more of a learning experience for me than for them.)

Gate 44 is associated with a talent for seeing patterns, an instinct for identifying anything false (especially when tied to a previously experienced pattern), and knowledge/transmission of Truth that will bring a situation into alignment with integrity. Since this Gate is found in the Biological Instincts Center, there’s an olfactory component to its activation (i.e., smelling when something is “off”).

My early/novice experiences with this Channel are likely to negatively impact my sense of self-worth (due to having the Will Gate), whereas my partner’s novice experiences will provoke fear (due to having the Biological Instincts Gate). When we’ve gained the wisdom of maturity, we’ll be able to use experiences in this Channel to gain self-worth and overcome fear.

In novice expression of 26, I likely won’t want to hear the Truth expressed by an activated/wise 44 and will feel the urge to push this person away and/or run from them. With wisdom, I’ll recognize the Truth they offer as a gift that frees me from struggles with uncertainty when I want to know how to realign with integrity and receive the sense of self-worth that results. Through wise expression, the activation of this Channel in our relationship will enable us both to live in alignment with integrity and achieve and exemplify both courage and self-worth.

The beauty of this Channel is that it brings the opportunity to develop the will to wait to find the purpose in pain and then transform it into something of value. Instead of discarding something due to pain or fear caused by living out of integrity, this Channel can teach me that a harmful pattern can be broken without losing what’s good and beautiful.

In other words, it teaches me how to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I can identify and retain what has value (the baby) while breaking out of a negative pattern (the bathwater) and bring what’s valuable forward into a new, more aligned future. Instead of perceiving situations and people (including myself) as disposable, I’ll learn that the restoration of integrity introduces wisdom, which grants greater value than was present before integrity was lost. Living as an example of this will enable me to have a significant and powerful impact on those around me. It takes significant courage to take on a lesson of this magnitude, especially when part of my purpose is to be a role model, so I should feel pretty proud of the fact that my soul signed on for the task.

Relationships that bring activation to this channel for me will also create the effects of activation in my Will Center. It’s not true activation because it’ll only occur as part of our energetic interaction; the less I’m around the person, the less I’ll feel the sense of activation.

In other words, if I have a relationship with someone who has the Gate 44 activated and spend a lot of time with them, I’ll have a more stable sense of self-worth, values, and willpower. When I leave their company to engage with different people/groups, my experience of those things will become variable and inconsistent again. Spending more time in the former situation will provide a stable environment for developing a healthy sense of self-worth; however, the variability I experience when I leave their company can create a lot of doubt and confusion about whether my value is genuine.

I may feel and behave very differently when I’m not with the person. This can lead to a continuation of doubt and confusion when I’m with the person again, along with guilt or shame. The apparent contradictions can cause the relationship to make me question my self-worth rather than supporting it.

This is an example of how awareness regarding what I’m experiencing and why has the potential to dispel self-harming beliefs I’ve had about myself, replacing them with the empowering truth and transforming my perception of my past, present, and future.

The novice expression of this channel includes taking, seizing, lying, and cheating and/or being out of integrity with myself as a symptom of fear and lack or low self-esteem. When I form a complete channel through relationship, the lessons for me to learn are to break the patterns of the past that are rooted in pain and lack, to reclaim self-worth and the role of my Authentic Self, and to value myself enough to stay in integrity with myself.

Wisdom and optimal expression of this channel includes:
• Transforming pain into something of greater value and sharing it
• Staying in integrity with myself and others even if I’m scared or feel “less than”
• Transforming past patterns to create something sustainable and valuable for myself and others
• Doing the thing that’s right for me even when it’s hard

Gate 44

Second Chances (44.6, more apparent; 44.5, less apparent)

Strategy (44.6, less apparent)