Emotional Signal: Satisfaction vs. Frustration & Anger
Each Type has an emotional theme that brings lessons as well as opportunities for growth. It also functions as a signal.
When I experience my emotional theme in a strong way, it’s usually a sign that I’m not living true to myself. It’s always good to take a step back and evaluate my life if I’m feeling my emotional theme in a powerful way.
When I live my life according to my strategy, I lessen the intensity of my experience with my emotional theme. I may feel it here and there, but it won’t be a roaring monster that plagues me constantly. Following my strategy makes my entire life experience easier and more enjoyable.
The emotional theme is thematic, meaning that I’ll either experience the emotions of my theme myself or I could experience them from other people around me who are responding to my behavior.
If I’ve been experiencing my theme throughout my life without understanding its purpose, I might have resigned myself to the belief that there’s nothing I can do to prevent or change it. I might have developed coping mechanisms to reduce the suffering it causes. Most people who experience this have learned to live a life of self-distraction (usually with self-numbing methods) in an attempt to ignore what they don’t know how to fix. If that’s been my experience, I’ll be able to change that now.
Once I’ve realigned through use of my strategy, I’ll know what to do when one of my themes comes up again, which means that paying attention and addressing it will minimize my discomfort far more than self-distraction and ignoring it. I’ll stop needing to be numb to survive life. When I have more knowledge and less discomfort, I can finally thrive.
Since Time Benders have the strengths of both Generators and Manifestors, they also experience the emotional themes of both.
Frustration – Part of Learning & Mastery
One source of frustration is due to the nature of the Generator learning curve. We tend to sit on plateaus before having breakthroughs frequently experience frustration with lack of forward progress while waiting for the breakthrough. It’s common to quit and go a different direction right before the breakthrough. Part of this is attributable to our genuine need to find work we love.
If I don’t love my work, it’s hard to get it done. Any time I’m feeling stuck, it’s good to evaluate if I really love what I’m doing to make sure my head didn’t talk me into something I hate because it was prioritizing the need to earn doing ANY work over the need to do the RIGHT work. My passion will always be the most profitable part of my work.
No passion = no profit, no matter how time and energy I devote to it. This isn’t because the universe is punishing me for not following “the rules” or for doing something “wrong.” It’s because I deserve to live a life of joy and fulfillment and the universe is trying to give me reasons to move in that direction.
If the universe didn’t care about me, it would leave me in a situation of working 8-5 (or longer) at a draining job, spending all those hours being miserable just to make dollars that I barely have time to spend to get stuff that doesn’t compensate for living an unfulfilling life of perpetual frustration and anger that I don’t feel I have the right to express, filled with guilt and shame about my inability to make myself or others happy.
It can feel like punishment when my life falls apart, but it only does so when the universe is trying to give me something better. Sometimes having something better means I also have to learn something first. Those lessons can also feel like punishment, but without learning a different way to approach life, I’d continue building structures that can’t stand.
When I build in a way that will support me in living authentically and experiencing fulfillment, that will be the structure I can trust to stand. That’s the truth of live for everyone – it’s all orchestrated in a way that refuses to perpetuate the structures that harm us, repeatedly clearing the slate so we have new opportunities to create structures that are truly sustainable – the ones that will reflect the beauty and perfection of our true selves.
My life is meant to be build me up in the areas of lovability, self-worth, authenticity, self-trust, emotional wisdom, empowerment, courage, decisiveness, and vitality. The universe loves and values me too much to allow me to settle for anything less.
Frustration – Initiating Instead of Responding
Due to the Generator side of my hybrid Type, I’ll experience deep frustration by initiating (starting) things. If I move on an idea without waiting for the opportunity to respond (which signals the time is right for the idea), no matter how time and effort I pour into it, I won’t see much internal or external success, if any, which understandably creates a great deal of frustration! On the other hand, if I wait for that signal that the time is right and respond to it, I’ll experience a great deal of success.
Of course, waiting can feel very challenging. It may feel unnatural for me, particularly with the prevailing cultural message to get out there, just do it, and make something happen. Part of this experiment is to experiment with waiting, even if just for a few days. See what happens!
I don’t have to start with huge changes or taking risks; I can try it out in small ways and see what the results are before trying it out in bigger ways. If I use it in some ways and not in others, I can compare results from both, which gives me more information. It’s all about gathering evidence that I can use to determine what’s right FOR ME, not about following rules created by someone else.
My energy communicates to the world that I need something that will enable me to respond to it. When I wait, things always come to me at the right time and the right way. Again, this isn’t about a system of rules or punishment. It’s how the universe supports me in creating the supportive foundations and structures described above.
Since I also have the Manifestors’ internal creative flow driving me toward action, I tend to respond more quickly to situations than Alchemists. I’m uniquely capable of getting more accomplished than most, and for a longer period of time. If I don’t respond, I run the risk of being very busy accomplishing nothing.
For me, the need to internally check responses by trial and error as I respond to situations confirms (or not) if what I’ve started is “still good for me.” In essence, it’s like waiting for a “sign” or a signal that the timing is right before taking action. I have an innate awareness if something is right or wrong for me. I have a gut instinct that, when followed correctly, always puts me in the right place at the right time.
Others may see me as continually changing my mind and criticize me for it if they don’t understand it. If I’ve internalized that criticism and ignore my internal signals in an effort to make the people I care about happy, then I’ll likely live in a constant state of frustration and dissatisfaction. The outcome is that neither me nor the people I care about end up happy, despite my best efforts.
This is why it’s so important to be true to what’s right for me regardless of whether or not others understand it. Doing so will lead me to the people who will embrace me as my true self rather than someone I’m pretending to be (which can never be accomplished more than temporarily and will never create a situation that makes me happy).
If I believed that the criticized parts of myself were wrong or bad, then I would also believe that the same would be true no matter which community or relationships I was part of, so it made sense to try to silence and ignore those aspects of myself. Recognizing that there’s nothing wrong with what comes naturally to me frees me to express myself authentically, knowing that there are right places and people for me.
Instead of looking for ways to change and fit myself to belong to a person, group, or situation, I’ll be led to the people, groups, and situations that fit me. I’ll experience true belonging, which brings satisfaction and peace rather than frustration or anger. That’s a necessary component for achieving the sustainable structures described above.
Anger and Internal Creative Flow
Anger is the emotional theme for the Manifestor side of my hybrid. I need to inform in order to stabilize the energy around me. I’m capable of moving so fast that informing feels like it’s slowing me down, but informing will decrease the resistance I get from others.
I’m likely to feel angry when facing frequent disruptions to my creative flow and others are likely to feel angry when I remain so immersed in my flow that they feel like they never know what’s going on. Managing this challenge requires a balancing act of minimizing disruption for myself while also maximizing informing for other. Having people in my life who understand and embrace who I really am make that balancing act much easier to accomplish – yet another aspect of the sustainable structures I want to build in my life.
Sometimes, I’ll get out of balance. I can be so immersed in my work that I forget to come up for air. I often have a hard time with being a team players because I move so fast. I’ll often prefer to work on my own so I can do things my way at my speed. This is a valid need, because I’m designed to discover new ways of doing things.
It’s difficult to engage with that discovery process when I’m working with a group of people who don’t understand that and have an expectation of doing things in the established way. It’s another situation that’s likely to lead to anger on both sides. Delegating some tasks to others while working solo on other tasks can be a helpful solution, although letting go can also be challenging.
I often need help “triaging” my time as well as energy and making sure I’m not doing everything just because they can. This is another example of why I’ll accomplish more when working with people who understand and value the way I function rather than expecting me to change it.
Having those sustainable structures that we’re all meant to have in our lives doesn’t just make my life better; they make life better for everyone who’s part of my life and anyone who benefits from my accomplishments. Letting go of people and situations that are part of unsustainable structure can feel selfish, but those structures aren’t beneficial to anyone involved.
Being the person who has the awareness and courage to recognize something as harmful, acknowledge that truth, and take action is an expression of self-love but it’s not selfish. It liberates anyone involved to take the step for themselves. They may not see it that way at the time and they may not take advantage of the opportunity they’ve received, but that’s not mine to control or determine.
My responsibility is to make the changes necessary for me to live authentically as kindly yet firmly as possible and to trust others to their own learning process and path. Doing so can even provide others with inspiration to do the same. As more of us choose to live that way, the world’s message that it’s not ok to be who we are becomes increasingly weaker, and that benefits every single person living in it.
Contemplations
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- What triggers my emotional theme?
- Am I aware of when I’m experiencing my emotional theme?
- Does my emotional theme keep me blocked or stuck?
- Do I know how to interpret it?
- Where do I experience my emotional theme from others? How do I react?
- What needs to be healed, released, aligned, or brought to my awareness for me to gain a deeper understanding of my emotional theme?
(This question is designed to put out into the universe as a request to be shown answers. It’s a good one to ask before meditating or going to sleep. Tapping on the center of my forehead while I ask the question(s) will help provide a physical signal to myself of my intention to process this while sleeping).
If I want more insight, I can always request a message from the universe.